#2

The poem that I would like to TPCASTT is 'I Meant to Have But Modest Needs'
To me, the poem delivered an incredibly strong message of a speaker who, in the past had strong faith, now feels incredibly betrayed by the God she believed in. I think it conveys a universal message of people coping with tragedy or personal losses and thus blaming it on an omnipotent power we so rely on. Inevitably, we as humans, are bound to face some sort of hardships in life and that kind of painful yet unavoidable experience relates to the theme of the poem. My personal experience, as an awkward kid in junior high, kind of relates to the very message of this poem (Although I am quite reluctant to share this. Err.)
As a young child (and even today) my parents were not very religious. Although we did go to church after dad's sickness it never really placed a huge place in our lives. When my father relocated to America, we still went to church but it was one of the ways to socialize with other Koreans living within the community area. Then, I came to Korea and until I came to TCIS, I went to a secular elementary and middle school. When I transitioned to this school, I was utterly shocked by what people had to say. My knowledge of Jesus was just a man who demonstrated and taught 'love' and wanted nothing in return. But here, it seemed that Jesus had died to pay for people's sins and that we now in return have to love and worship Him. This was a very strong and powerful change for me since I knew nothing... NOTHING about Christianity. The message that I received was beautiful, especially in a world like this. I loved the idea of caring and loving others without expecting anything in return. However, I was confronted by the harsh reality of the world. I started to witness hypocrisy among Christians and sometimes the words of the Bible didn't seem to make sense to me. I didn't get the sacrifices of the animals or how it seemed that polygomous relationships seemed to be condoned in the scripture. Soon, I felt betrayed by what I thought was a caring and loving God. I felt that he had let go of my faith and abadoned me.
Recently, though, I did decide to open up to the idea of God and I still respect many Christian beliefs. However, the sense of betrayal and utter dissapointment I felt is in direct relation to what Dickinson seemingly experienced. I think this kind of message applies to everyone in this world, whether a believer or not.